Foundations
The 10 principles are intended as a guide. They aim to support you in recognizing and understanding yourself and your needs. Sometimes people who feel like they have been on a diet their whole lives take these guidelines as strict instructions and enforce them with the same rigidity and urgency. This is an invitation to not do so.
If diets worked, it would only take one. And it would work forever. Is this your experience?
First of all: why do you want to lose weight at all? Is that your own wish or does this pressure, this expectation come from outside? What promises do you make to yourself? (If only I were skinny, then…).
Every time you go on a diet, you signal to your body that there is a famine to survive. This ancient program means that as soon as there is food again, your body compensates for this energy deficit. Also, for a certain time after a diet your metabolism changes, which means you usually regain the lost weight, even if you eat less than before. Often this is the start of a long and arduous 'diet career'. The so-called yo-yo effect sets in.
Do you want to keep spending energy, time and money on a concept that simply doesn't work in the long run for so many people? If not, say goodbye to the false hope that the next diet will finally be the last one.
Your body needs energy. It signals this to you clearly and distinctly. If you don't listen to these completely natural and meaningful signals, it can trigger a so-called 'primal hunger'. You can compare this to your breath: yes, you can hold it, but at some point it becomes so urgent, so essential for survival – you need air.
If you starve your body for a very long time, a similar reaction occurs. In such moments, after not listening to your hunger, you may fall to the other extreme and completely overeat.
It's important to keep your body biologically fed with adequate energy before that primal drive kicks in. Or does your phone run without power?
This constant thinking about food, this 'Should I, shouldn't I?'. When food becomes religiously rigid and food is suddenly 'good' or 'evil' – are you familiar with this? By making peace with any food, a lot of pressure falls away and a more relaxed form of eating becomes possible.
No, the plate of fries will not immediately lead to a fatty liver. The cream cake will not automatically make you diabetic. Your body will most likely signal to you very soon when it craves more variety and freshness. Until then: there are no forbidden foods.
Often it is the inner voice that rants or condemns you for eating something 'bad', or praises you for eating the minimum amount of calories. The Food Police: Where do their laws come from? What are they based on? Are they even correct or make sense in any way?
The voice of the food police can also be a very real one. Many times, well-meaning relatives and acquaintances cause lasting damage with their intrusive statements about your way of eating or your body.
Replace the voice of the food police with an inner dialogue that is beneficial to your health and well-being.
What do you really like to eat? Have you been eating salad with chicken for years even though you are completely tired of it? Do you eat all sorts of 'healthy' alternatives when all you really want is a piece of cake?
If you eat exactly what you feel like, ideally in a relaxed, inviting environment, this pleasure will help you feel satisfied and full. That way you will discover the sweet spot where you have eaten neither too much nor too little, but simply enough.
In order for your body and mind to realize that you have eaten enough, it's important that you eat what you really feel like eating. Take time when possible. Take a short pause during the meal and ask yourself: How does the food taste to me? How hungry am I right now?
Learn what it feels like to listen to your body and trust yourself.
Be aware that any diet, any calorie restriction, can trigger a feeling of loss of control. Your body doesn't usually know that you are 'just quickly' on a diet. It feels like it is starving and counteracts this. This does not mean you are an 'emotional eater' – your body is functioning exactly as it should, trying to keep you alive.
That doesn't rule out that you reach for food with certain feelings (boredom, frustration, stress). Food may comfort or distract you in the short term – and that's completely human. But in the long run you will want to deal with the cause of these feelings.
Learn to accept that we come into this world in different shapes and sizes. Just as someone would suffer needlessly wearing shoes three sizes too small, it doesn't make sense to want to wear size zero if that isn't your size.
Yes, the diet industry tries to convince us otherwise – it defines beauty and perfection for us without any right to do so. What you find beautiful – that is yours to determine. Every single body deserves respect.
Forget militant exercise with the ultimate goal of burning as many calories as possible. Pick an activity that you enjoy and feel the difference. When the focus is on the feeling, it's easier to move.
Find out how you like to move: alone or with others, intense or laid-back, outdoors or at home? Whatever feels right to you will be the easiest to integrate into your daily life.
Make your food choices by asking yourself: What is good for my health, tastes good to me and makes me feel good? And remember: you don't have to eat perfectly to be healthy. In fact, health is multifactorial.
The way of eating that suits you, provides you with all the nutrients and gives you joy – that is the one you will be able to maintain long term. Growth and development are the goals, not perfection.
Be brave. Be yourself. Feel at home in your own body.
"If a problem looks difficult, relax. If it looks impossible, relax even more. Then begin encouraging small changes, putting just enough pressure on yourself to move one turtle step forward. Then rest, savor, celebrate. Then step again. You'll find that slow is fast, gentle is powerful, and stillness moves mountains."
Martha Beck
That depends a bit on what kind of learner you are. In my experience, the best way to achieve your goals is to get support from a professional like me. I will accompany you through this process.
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